True First Day

I'd like to point out that I still don't have internet. I got the access code, so now I can be teased with internet, but still can't have it. I emailed the company from my phone, so we'll see if they ever respond. I'm getting withdrawal symptoms. Shakes and the heebies. Of the jeebie sort.

There are several other things that I've discovered Japanese people are fascinated about foreigners, specifically me. First, your exact height. Now, I am a fairly tall person for the most part, and even in the US I get asked how tall I am. It's not too abnormal, but here, they expect you to argue with them that you're not really 187 cm when you say you're 185. I don't care which one I am. I just go into basic Japanese mode, where I stop listening, and just nod. You'd be amazed at how useful that has been just today.

Second thing Japanese people seem to be fascinated with is my age. When I introduced myself to the entire company, I made a point to say that I was a University Student. One would think that a University student would probably be, what, under 22? 23? Noooo, I get asked how old I am constantly at work, on the bus, at ramen shops, and when I say 21, I get a huge range of responses. From being called Aaron-chan to being called some sort of amazing genius for coming to Japan at such an age, to big winks at me and explanations how this should be a good experience for me. I get it, I'm younger than you. I'm not after your job, so don't feel threatened.

Third, and most important thing on the population of Japan's mind is my current dating status. Today, just today, I have been asked no less than 15 times if I currently have a girlfriend. The response is always the same, 今、いません。 Not right now. Yet somehow, this opens the realm for them to ask if I like Japanese girls, which I'm not going to lie, the answer is yes. But, it's just odd when you're being asked this, and slutty skirt bus girl is sitting right there trying not to make eye contact with me. No, bus girl, I'm not interested in you; you haven't even made an effort to introduce yourself to me, so I will just continue flirting with tall OL in broken Japanese; thank you very much.

Today I woke up, got ready, and jumped on the bus to work. On the bus was slutty skirt bus girl, but I had no idea she worked at the same company. All I know is, is that this girl was wearing a skirt far too short for this early in the morning. And this cold. She gets off at the stop before mine, I get off at my stop, and as I'm walking to the building, I see her walking towards the building from the other way. Great, she'll think I'm a stalker. Super. I made a point of waiting a loooooong time after she started going up the stairs to go up after her, for fear of her claiming I stalked her and looked up her skirt. This is Japan, you know.

So I go to the cafeteria, which is odd; Japanese companies are just like schools. They have uniforms, serve lunches, have groups and cliques and clubs and divisions based on what floor you work on and where you sit. It's odd. So the supervisor talks, tells me to introduce myself, and I do so. Then everyone scatters while I'm pulled aside and given a locker. Ok, a place to put my coat and bag. That's good. No no no, the locker is for my clothes, I have a uniform. Great. I lug all these clothes for work, and now I have a uniform I have to wear for the next month until I start to work in the office. Plus, it's a Japanese uniform, which means the pants are too short. Super; what a great day.

Smiley the supervisor then pulls me into a room where we watch a video on the company again, and he pauses it to interject his thoughts. He then hands me an envelope with about $450 in yen as a prepayment for this month, and continues. Awesome. Now he has my attention. We then discuss the magic of fluropolymers until lunch. Lunch time comes and all the kids gather in the cafeteria. I eat while Crotch Fat guy talks in super fast Japanese at me. All the while, I'm discussing the Clash and Ramones with this guy sitting next to me, and Crotch Fat doesn't realize it. I then get pulled aside by three other people who take me to a room, and demand that I help them practice English.

These three guys practice English everyday after lunch, and really, I'm surprised at their dedication. The reasons behind it were actually good reasons too; not my cheesy "I like the culture" or such. One guy wanted to learn because Japanese is only spoken in Japan, and English is so much more widespread. Yeah, makes sense. Another guy said he wanted to do something more internationally oriented, and that was why. It was a nice break from me struggling in Japanese and trying to understand to just speaking English with some people. I haven't had that chance since Saturday with Sayako, and while that might seem that long, believe me, it is. Unfettered English for the native speaker is really relaxing when you've been worrying about speaking another language so much.

So after practice, I go back to the cafeteria where another announcement is made, and I discover that I am freezing. I move back to the meeting room with Smiley where we sit. For a while. Then, he hands me off to Crotch Fat and off we go to the research lab. Ok, that's fine with me. I get introduced to Muppet, and believe me, this guy sounds like one. He always talks to himself and laughs, and his laugh is this weird, deep, haughty laugh, so I always think he's making fun of someone. Anyway, I sit down and spend the next 4 hours folding aluminum foil in half and listening to Crotch Fat and Muppet fire questions at me. I have no idea why I was folding aluminum foil, what it might be used for, or anything; just that's what they asked me to do, and I was bored.

I'd ask questions back at them, but I have yet to meet anyone at the company that has any sort of true personality. No one knows any decent Japanese bands, and they all listen to pop and Madonna. No one knows any good Japanese Art-House movies that I mention, and forget lo-brow or graffiti art. It's painful to try and listen to a guy explain the wonders of clothes shopping with his wife, or spending 6 hours reading Japanese comic books at a cafe. Not even good comics! Creepy love comics. Sigh.

So after the folding of aluminum foil, I finished the roll, was sent down to Smiley again, who told me to change and go home, since it was about 5 minutes to 5pm anyway. I do so, and go to the bus where I await slutty skirt bus girl so I know I am on the right bus. She never shows, but I do get on the correct bus, where I head home to try and get internet. No luck. I email them from my phone, and go to the convenience store to buy ramen for tomorrow's lunch. I can't eat pork or beef, so obviously fried pork pieces is out; so I'm bringing my own. I then pass a ramen shop that's closed everytime I pass, so I go in. I'm the only one there, and the shop owner is nice. We talk for a bit while my food is being prepared, I eat, head home, and here I am. I've started making a list of people I meet with their names, how I remember them, and how I met them. It's a fairly interesting list with names such as Crotch Fat and Muppet, which I've incorporated here. Meh, time to shower.